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Whether you’re only doing one-night stands, going on a few dates with the hope of a new relationship, or having random hookups at work (ugh), there are ways to make casual sex a way of life that doesn’t compromise your morals or compromise your love life. Don’t beat yourself up over having one-night stands, and be aware of the costs of casual sex, as there can be some major downsides. “Modern life is stressful, and we’re trying to balance it all,” says Bickley, who emphasizes that not all casual sex is created equal.“Not everyone has a healthy sexual or romantic relationship, and not everyone wants to have casual sex for the simple reason that it’s stressful,” Bickley says. By making casual sex a casual, stress-free experience for yourself and your partner, it can keep you from getting hung up on the inherent anxiety it can bring.What’s more, if you’re looking to get into a serious relationship with a casual hookup partner, it’s not always a good idea to have sexual relations as soon as you meet someone. While every relationship requires some level of intimacy to be successful, eventually you need to move beyond the preliminaries. Being with someone who is interested in casual sex can be a good indicator that you’re with someone serious.Those who are looking for casual sex are often frustrated that they’re not finding much in the way of long-term partners, but that’s because of the nature of casual sex. Someone looking for casual sex is choosing for themselves to avoid commitment — because that’s what dating is (for better or worse). Sticking with the sex hookup model is opting out of being one half of a couple, but it doesn’t have to work that way.What you do after sexPeople who have casual sex tend to find it fulfilling. They also tend to get the most pleasure from it when they go after sex and aren’t pressured by someone else to have it. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t skip a condom if you know that you’re not going to wear one with that hookup partner; it’s more about making sure that you trust them with your body.If you want to have casual sex with a relationship in mind, it’s still your choice to have it3472859908
P.S. If you need to feed your brain with regular checkups on the choices you’re making every step of the way, I highly recommend downloading the dating app Kiss, which lets you see how different modes of the app have been used for sex purposes. That way, you’ll have an easier time making conscious decisions and not wondering why you chose to hook up with someone in the middle of a dog park.Casual sex has long been socially accepted and even encouraged, so it’s hardly surprising that it has become so common. But that doesn’t make it the most convenient path to safer sex. The best way to have casual sex is to have conversations first, both with the person you’re about to sleep with and with yourself. It might sound painful, but serious and serious sex are rarely going to be an efficient means to an end.MORE: How Dating Apps Have Changed Dating and Other Predictable Changes That Prove Our Society Is WreckingFor her, the popularity of Tinder and dating apps is emblematic of a larger trend that’s become increasingly normalized: Sex without meaningful vulnerability or commitment. “If you say I’m a relationship person — and you don’t mean you’re a relationship person! — there’s just a lotta filter because that’s the experience — you’re always meeting people when you’re on these apps.” Hanging out with friends at parties, brunching, or pursuing hobbies are all the things that many people say they want in a relationship, “but it’s also surprisingly hard to make that happen with another person,” she says.A 2014 Buzzfeed report gave us more insight into the evolving popular consciousness around casual sex. As Vice reporter Emily Stewart explains, the term “hookup” is on its way out because casual sex is now considered the norm, so couples now actually have to “settle for sex” instead of actually having sex.Predictably, our expectations have changed as well: Long gone are the days when you’d sleep with a guy just to make his ego happy. Now, you’ll go home with a guy you’ve known for months and want to see again. (That’s why people use apps like FetLife, Ashley Madison, and Tinder to find someone they’re interested in. They want a long-term relationship, and they aren’t interested in
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